Monday, May 27, 2019

After This You'll Change How You Do Everything! - Tony Robbins

WINNERS MINDSET - Best Motivational Video





We can always find a reason not to pursue our dreams, not to take action, not to stick our neck out. Our reasons seem perfectly well reasonable. We can always justify why we can’t do something – especially to ourselves.
Living a life of excuses can have very serious and lasting consequences. Not only will excuses prevent you from reaching your full potential, but people around you will also hold you back from recognizing opportunities, talents and skills you might have, to help you overcome your problems.
If you don’t challenge yourself to reach new levels, you will never really know what you’re capable of. New opportunities lie hidden around every corner, however you will never find them if you riddle your mind with constantly finding reasons to make excuses.

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Find Fail Safe Project Success With These 4 Simple Tips


Getting your project -- even a large one -- off to a successful and quick beginning is a major key to success.

So, here's some help. Read on for 4 tips to help you move your project into the "Fail Safe" zone. As you use your skills and power to think ahead, your results can far surpass what a traditional approach to project management offers.

1. Open to new possibilities for structuring your project.

Start by clearly defining your desired outcome, and then build around it. Beginning with your goal stimulates your creativity and moves you away from automatically following a standard protocol. Let fresh ideas bubble up.

2. Refine the image of your goal. Make it comprehensive and specific.

Keep working at your project definition. Having a crystal clear image of your desired outcome before you begin helps in lots of ways. For one thing, it's motivating. And vague descriptions may result in confusion for those who need to understand your project or those whose help you may need in order to be successful. The clarity of your goal will also help you strategize more effectively when you're structuring your action steps.

3. What about the scope and complexity of your desired outcome? If you've bitten off more than you can chew, remember that you hold the power to make your project manageable.

Realistic planning at the outset greatly reduces your chances of having to scale back your original goal. A doctoral dissertation or strategic plan without a feasible-to-achieve outcome can easily become a project that is impossible to manage. Learn to marshal your resources by simplifying.

4. Work backward.

Start from your outcome and work back. This helps you identify each necessary action step. When you do this, you're more likely to maintain a realistic pace and scale throughout the project.

In contrast, beginning at the beginning can mire you in too much detail or overwhelm you with the enormity of your task.

It's deeply rewarding to plan a project effectively when first starting out. You will proceed with more confidence and develop a stronger base of support.

You'll find expert guidance quickly with our free Finding Time Success Kit, so check out our video at http://thetimefinder.com/ and then sign up for your Kit!

You'll receive our Finding Time Boundary Template, our popular Weekly Tips, and our monthly, award-winning E-zine -- all free and all right to your in-box!

For even more time tips, tools and techniques, visit our blog at https://thetimefinder.com/blog/

Offered by Paula Eder, Ph.D. The Time Finder Expert

Author: Paula Eder
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Paula_Eder/40911


Friday, May 24, 2019

THE BILLIONAIRE MINDSET - Motivational Video (from the great achievers o...


Success occurs when your dreams become bigger than your excuses



Speakers:
Kevin Spacey Jeff Bezos Steve Jobs John Paul Dejoria Jerry Weintraub Jerry Jones T. Harv Eker Warren Buffet Gary Vaynerchuck Robin Sharma Howard Schultz Oprah Winfrey Michael Bloomberg David Geffen

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Regrets Or Lessons Learned

Regret can have a significant negative impact on every aspect of your future - your career, relationships, health and even your happiness and why? Well for starters it keeps you stuck in the past, something that you can't do anything about. But just as important it can have a major negative impact on your present and your future.

Basically, regret is how we choose to define the past - decisions, actions, outcomes, experiences and even people in our life.

Another way to view these decisions, circumstances and the rest is to see them as lessons learned. The only problem with this approach is you must do some "inner work" to discover what the learning could be or have been. But let me get back to that in a minute or so.

Let me give you just three quick examples of where regret can dramatically impact the rest of your life.

First - in your health - Let's say in an earlier part of your life you were a smoker, druggie or ate like an idiot. Let me ask you, you have left these actions in the past for many years, but you regret not having the discipline or common sense to not indulge in these behaviors. It's later in your life and you now have - COPD, heart issues, joint problems etc. that were mainly caused by these earlier behaviors. OK, so it's too late to change the past but you spend far too much time in the present beating yourself up because of these stupid mistakes. Let me ask do you think these thoughts could be having a negative impact on the present? If your answer is no - wake up.

Second in your career - At an earlier time in your career when you didn't have the maturity or common sense to excel you made some bad or even stupid decisions. Unfortunately, one of them caused you to be terminated from your position at a time in your life when that was very detrimental on other life areas like finances, relationships and your progress towards success. Over the years you struggled to finally land the position or opportunity that you felt you deserved or were entitled to but for some reason it never crossed your path and you lived with almost daily disappointment and regret over your "long ago" bad choices. Let me ask you - do you think staying stuck in this previous mindset is helpful in your present? Starting to see a trend here? No, OK, well one more quick example.

Third in relationships - Ever spent too much time, energy or resources on a relationship that was going nowhere or ended badly and in hindsight you regretted not ending it sooner, or never starting it, or being a better person in it? Been there? If not, I'm guessing you are close to the "perfect" person, but no one knows it but you. So, the regret is not waking up and paying attention sooner but for some silly reason - - hope, love, infatuation, poor self-esteem - whatever - kept you stuck in la-la land, denial or wishful thinking but in the end, deep down inside you - you knew it wasn't right for some reason but stuck with it. Flash forward a few years and here we go again in another relationship, marriage or romantic fling and guess what keeps filling your mind - "what if this is happening again and I'm not getting it? Been there? Do you think these thoughts (regrets) may just have an impact on your current situation? Duh.

There are numerous other examples I could give like - previous opportunities not embraced, previous investments made or not made etc.

OK, the other option is to see these life situations, circumstances or people not as regrets but as lessons to be learned or teachers that were in our life to help us learn the right lessons along the path into the future. And how can life expect us to do this during turmoil, frustration, pain, discouragement, anxiety and yes regret. It's simple but not easy and here are just a few ideas to consider, embrace or apply to change your mindset from defining who you are to becoming who you can be.

- Let the invalidating, negative, whining, pessimistic and self-righteous people in your life go. The more time you spend with them, the more you will feel life is not fair, you are a victim and you deserve what you want or need whether you deserve it not. Be careful who you are around - they are influencing you every minute of every day.

- Get out of mental "auto-pilot". Start spending real time and energy evaluating stuff in the present and not using the past or the future as the guidelines for evaluation. You don't know what the future holds no matter what you do or don't do, and you certainly can't change the past. So, if you want to have less regret in the future spend time figuring out what you are doing and not doing now and - why or why not.

- Get some coaches and/or mentors. Join a Mastermind group. Have some life advisors you trust. Stop trying to do it all on your own. Take stuff to them and ask for guidance. Doesn't mean you will or have to take it or not. But if you don't get it you can't take it.

- Accept the simple truth that you can only get better and learn more from mistakes, bad decisions and stupid actions. If life is sailing along for you day after day with no challenges and adversity - trust me - you are learning nothing. Embrace failure. Say thank you for challenges and then use them as learning tools not excuses to feel sorry for yourself, self-pity or even uselessness.

- There's a lot more, but here's just one more for the road. You were not put on this earth to whine, complain and do nothing with the time you have been given. You were put here to grow, help others, and leave your personal world no matter how small or big, a better place. You can't do these if you are stuck in the mud or mindsets of fear, greed, ego, arrogance and pride. Want to make a difference - get busy making a difference - one person and one day at a time.

Author:  Tim Connor
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tim_Connor/43189


Wednesday, May 22, 2019

HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE THINK - Motivational Video

HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE THINK


Speakers: Magic Johnson Arnold Schwarzeneger Idris Elda Serena Williams Conor McGregor Usain Bolt Roger Federer

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

How To Be Successful In Life - The Underlying Principles of Success


How To Be Successful In Life - The Underlying Principles of Success
Everyone wants to achieve the highest level of success. However, reaching that desirable level of success is not as easy as most of us perceive. To be successful, you have to sacrifice and forego majority of life's pleasures. Below is a list of seven guaranteed ways to be successful in life.

1. Do what you love

Unfortunately, most of us end up settling for jobs or careers that do not offer maximum satisfaction. Put simply, it is important to understand your passion and pursue it with all your energy and resources. The greatest regret held by a majority of the elderly is settling for what they did not love. To avoid having regrets on most of your early life decisions, be sure to pursue your passion. Doing what you love will ensure you remain passionate and highly motivated in your day to day activities regardless of the income. Be sure to discover your true purpose and work hard to achieve your goals.

2. Identify with a successful individual

As you look to achieve your dreams and initially set goals, ensure you remember that success has no secret recipe. It is advisable to identify with a successful person in your field of interest, and do whatever your mentor does to achieve his or her level of success. Once you have a role model or a mentor you associate with, it becomes easier to emulate the positive traits while learning from your mentor`s mistakes. Pick up the positive habits and ensure you avoid the mistakes made by your role model. By emulating a successful person, you increase your chances of succeeding exponentially.

3. Anticipate failure of disappointment

Good things never come easy, and if they do, then they probably won't last. Do not anticipate a smooth sailing in your journey to success. Instead, be ready to pick yourself up whenever you experience failure or disappointment. After all, successful people are characterized by their ability to remain hopeful even in their greatest disappointments. Therefore, regardless of how many times you fail, ensure you remain optimistic and confident in your ability to succeed.

4. Practice makes perfect

No one can succeed without commitment and adequate practice. To achieve the highest level of success in your respective field, it is necessary to take your time to practice until your skills become flawless. Contrary to popular belief, success is attained by maintaining a high level of consistency. Thus, to enjoy success, you must be willing to put time into strengthening your skills through constant practice.

5. Plan

Unfortunately, most of us assume that success happens overnight. However, success more often than not occurs as a result of adequate planning and organization. To achieve your set goals and targets, it is crucial to have a plan that will act as a guide. Successful people know what to do and when to do things; they just don't go about doing everything simultaneously. As a result, be sure to take your time and adequately plan for all your milestones. Set a schedule and observe it to the latter. Once you have a plan in place, it will be possible to measure your progress and consequently ensure that everything goes according to plan.

6. Be true to yourself

As you embark on your journey to success, it is necessary to understand that the biggest obstacle to success is yourself. Procrastination never helps; in fact, all it does is rob you off the time that you would otherwise utilize to achieve your goals. Therefore, ensure you are hard on yourself. That is, avoid procrastinating or letting yourself off the hook whenever you lack the motivation to do an important activity. Without self-discipline, it is impossible to achieve your set goals.

7. Enjoy the journey

Always keep in mind that everyone has an independent journey and purpose. Avoid comparing yourself to others as aimless comparisons can derail your development. Be patient and ensure you reward yourself every time you achieve your goals or initially set milestones. Indeed, it is only through self-love and appreciation that you can achieve the highest level of success. As such, give yourself treats and rewards that match your achievements. Remember, if you do not appreciate your achievements, no matter how small, then no one else will.

Author: Leon Edward
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Leon_Edward/39417


Sunday, May 19, 2019

Dealing With Problems - A Formula

One of my clients recently taught me a formula that she learned years ago from a therapist she was seeing at the time. It has been helpful for her when it comes to problem-solving. We don't know its origin so can't give credit to the one who create it, but I thought I would share it with you so that you can also benefit.

1. Naming - Be very clear about the feelings that you have. Are you feeling angry? Sad? Guilty? It can be confusing if you are used to "pretending" that you are happy but feeling something else. In a recent interview Prince Harry told about how he would say "Fine" when people asked him how he was feeling rather than being honest after the loss of his mother. He said that now he is more aware of his feelings and able to express himself better. An example he used was to say, "My heart is pounding, and my stomach is a little tight but otherwise I am fine".
2. Claiming - Feelings are your own and you need to accept the fact that other people did not create them. You choose to feel guilty. You choose to be angry. Your reactions are yours. We cannot choose what happens to us, but we definitely can choose our reaction to what happens. If you are angry, admit it! You don't need to yell or use abusive words but with practice you will be able to communicate your mood appropriately to others.
3. No Blaming - Taking responsibility for your feelings is an important part of being mature. It is not the fault of other people that you are feeling guilty. Blaming other people for your feelings is a form of deflecting. Targeting the other person rather than dealing with your feelings in a healthy manner doesn't resolve anything.
4. Taming - The intensity of feelings can be very uncomfortable. It is important to not let your actions be fueled by them. My mother who was a grade two teacher used to tell us to "Count to ten before you say anything you might regret". Sometimes you might have to count to twenty! There are many ways that you can deal with strong feelings. Try writing the situation down on paper. Then, on the back of the page, write options that you have for calming down. Taking a walk or talking with a good friend can help you to put things in perspective.
5. Rename them - Rather than repeatedly stating "I always have anxiety" perhaps you might say "I tend to be cautious about new situations". Words like "devastated" and "overwhelmed" might be reworded as "I am very sad and would be grateful for some help with planning the funeral". Throwing out catastrophic words can be dramatic but not clear for people who would like to help and need a little direction in that regard. If you focus on what you need rather than how you feel, you will have a better chance of seeing your mood improve.



Author: Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker
Article Source: https://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-With-Problems---A-Formula&id=9995804


Friday, May 17, 2019

How to Reignite the Fun in Life

How many times have you fallen in life? How many times have you risen in life? How many times did you succeed in reigniting the fun in life? I reveal a few facts in this article that will help you to understand.

Here they are:

It doesn't really matter how many times you have fallen. But it does matter how many times you have risen and ignited the fun in life. If you are able to do this consistently, you know how to decode the game of life.
Call a few friends and gather at the coffee corner near about your home. Treat them all cups of coffee, have a fun chitchat and disperse. It helps you to release stress hormones and you are able to relieve yourself and also enjoy the mojo of life.
Visit an elderly aunt and see how she is doing. Help her with dishes or gardening or whatever she is doing and share and cut jokes with her. Make it a fun conversation and you both help each other to reignite your energy levels.
Take your burgeoning family to a far off place and allow your kids to run, walk and touch the mother nature while you and your spouse enjoy watching your kids, have fun and also enjoy each other's presence.
Help your newly married spouse to cook a lunch at the weekend and help yourselves to eat and have fun commenting which dishes you like or not. After cleanup of dishes, enjoy a comedy movie until it is time to go on errands in differing ways. This little time you shared with each other will be reminiscing moments in distant future.
Are you single or lonely? Never mind. Have hope. Read a fiction or nonfiction book that you downloaded from the web the other day. Immerse yourself fully in it and sure you will enjoy the experience. In fact, you will forget your loneliness and rather cherish your new world.
Are your children all grownups and live in separate ways? Call them up and try your best to convince them to come over to your place to have heart-rending face-to-face conversations and have a wonderful dinner cooked by your spouse. That way you will still feel bonded together and enjoy having reignited some fun moments.
Summing up, these are a few pointers to remember how you can best reignite the precious great moments in your life.


Author: Rosina S Khan
Article Source:https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Reignite-the-Fun-in-Life&id=9998513




Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Dealing With Scary Thoughts

In June I was on a holiday in the Maritimes. Part of the trip involved me driving from Charlottetown Prince Edward Island to Halifax Nova Scotia. Suddenly negative thoughts seemed to be coming from nowhere. I found myself thinking "What on earth are you doing, Hancock? You are in a province that you have never been in, driving on a road that you don't know in a rental vehicle. Are you crazy?"

Immediately I could feel stress in my body and knew that I had to do something quickly in order to not be at risk. There were some very specific things that helped that might be implemented when you are in a similar difficulty:

1. Stop the negative - Do not escalate the situation by repeating negative messages that just cause distraction and stress.

2. Think about past successes - I started saying things to myself like "You have had a driver's license for several decades without having an accident. You drove through the mountains in Idaho on your own without problems." These are called affirmations and should be implemented to remind you that you have the experience necessary to succeed again.

3. Focus on the present - I started thinking about what I could do to be safe in the moment. These included things like staying within the speed limit, practicing the defensive driving techniques that I have learned and making sure that I was paying attention to my surroundings.

4. Use available resources - Road signs were not very helpful because I really didn't know the area or the cities that I needs to go through in these provinces. However, the exit signs allowed me the option of pulling off the main highway in order to calm down and make a plan. Also, my GPS is much wiser than I am and when I trusted it, by following its directions I usually did well. When I thought that I knew better, I was pleased to realize that GPS is very forgiving and recalibrates so that it can adjust for deviations.

5. Do some self-care - Taking a deep breath is all that is needed to relax the body. Having an open bottle of water allows a few sips that will replenish the body.

6. Eliminate distractions - Turn the radio off! Having additional noise in the environment can subconsciously interfere with focus even if you think it is soothing.

7. Celebrate - Success breeds success. When you have accomplished a difficult task, allow yourself to feel good about it and store the memory so that you have confidence for future endeavors.

8. Re-evaluate - Several days after the driving incident I suddenly realized what had started the whole chain of negative thoughts. I am not used to round-abouts and remember that a few years ago when I was in England with my daughter she had spent considerable time studying videos about how to properly navigate them. I had not studied them so let myself become intimated by the thought of going through one without familiarity or preparation. I just didn't expect that I would be facing round-abouts in the Maritimes and let the thought of them stress me unnecessarily.

Sometimes we have reactions to cues that we don't see. When this happens, though, just follow the formula above and within minutes you will be back to your capable self!


Author: From Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker
Article Source: https://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-With-Scary-Thoughts&id=9973195

Monday, May 13, 2019

Quick Guide to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones

Most of us find ourselves doing something that people wish we're able to stop. Bad habits can certainly become elements of our lives, keeping us back, or annoying us (and our family members).

Here are quick guides to build good habits and break bad ones:

Identify The Habit You Need To Change First

You have to notice your unfavourable habits first. You must first notice that you have a habit that you would like to improve. If you really know what that habit is, then you can deal with it. Most of us already have lots of cons that we wish to change. Don't make an effort to attack everything simultaneously, though. Prioritize your bad habits, and choose the one to give attention to first.

Take Small Steps

Depending on the habit involved, small steps might be needed to be taken to be able to succeed. While some individuals are lucky when they quit smoking frosty turkey, not everyone succeeds with this technique. They could need to step back by smoking lesser cigarettes each day, or looking for other ways that could help them step back little by little. Also, in a situation whereby you wish to stop watching TV. In the event that you are being used to watching 4 hours of TV every night, it will be hard just stopping. You will need to reduce 1 hour out of the time at first. Make your changes little by little, but surely in a manner that is manageable for you if you need to help make the changes in your daily life "stick".

Substitute Bad Habits With Good Habits

You'll be more successful if you substitute a bad habit with a good habit in most cases. Many number of people replace smoking cigarette with gnawing sugar-free gum. If you want to get over a bad habit, it's vital that you look for a good habit to substitute it with. Slowly but surely, the good habit can be your normal habit and the bad behavior will disappear.

Try a Challenge

Most times, it benefits to truly have a challenge when you really wish to get rid of unfavourable habits. Get one of these weeklong a challenge to start out, to see if you can do something different for a whole week. Afterwards, you can extend the challenge. Another strategy is to have a thirty-day challenge. They state that it takes twenty-one days to build up a habit, so a thirty-day challenge should help you substitute your unhealthy habit with a good one.

After Success With One Habit, Tackle The Next

Once you've acquired success with one habit, move to another on your list. Be sure you recognize your good endeavors and then consider what other bad habits you need to get gone. The fact that you have previously been successful once is likely to increase your self-assurance in your capability to move to the next habit, allowing you to substitute it faster than you did the previous habit. If you can continue with this exercise through your list such as this, it's likely you'll find that you truly can substitute the majority of your bad habits with good and change your overall life for the better.


Author: Reshali Balasubramaniam


Saturday, May 11, 2019

What About Your Zone?

Often, we hear athletes talk about how important it is for them to be "in the zone". What they mean is that they have prepared for an event and even though they are physically ready for it, they are also able to completely focus in a way that they can reach their potential.

Sometimes I hear people explain that they use various ways of "zoning out" when they don't want to deal with the reality that is occurring in their world. They might use shopping, eating, drinking, drugs or gaming to escape into a fantasy bubble where they don't feel stress or responsibility.

The results from being "in the zone" and "zoning out" couldn't be more different. The athlete often achieves success as a reward for efforts whereas the person who is "zoning out" suffers negative consequences. Their work might not be completed efficiently or accurately because they aren't focused on it. Their environment is cluttered with neglected and unfinished tasks. Bills aren't paid. Self-care is absent. Relationships are unnurtured or left with unresolved issues. And, habits or addictions are developed over time.

Stress is often just a resistance to reality. When we ignore or try to escape it, things don't improve and, in fact, can get worse and we often don't admit that the stress was self-imposed. We do things to avoid what we don't want to do, only to find that they are still there, and then feel guilty or more stressed than when we started!

The best way to deal with a problem is to take steps to resolve it:

1. Decide what you want to have as an end result. Do you want to live in a safer and cleaner environment? Would you like to have a job that pays more and brings satisfaction? Are you interested in learning a skill? Do you want to be debt free? There is "magic" in writing down a goal. Make sure it is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

2. Research. Talk to people who have been successful in achieving a similar goal. It always surprises me when individuals ask for financial advice from others who are living in poverty! Go to the library to find books about your interest area. See if there are online or community courses to help you learn.

3. Develop a plan. Divide your project into small steps that can be completed over time. It is motivating to check off each step as you move towards the ultimate success. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

4. Do something every day to move forward. Even before I started my private practice, I committed to doing one thing every single day to build my business. A matter of minutes can add up to be many, many hours of progress by year end.

5. Control your influences. Make sure that you are surrounded by people who believe in and encourage you. The last thing you need is someone who will continually remind you why you won't succeed. If you don't have positive people in your physical environment then read inspiring books, listen to online speakers or call supporters who are living elsewhere.

6. Learn from your mistakes. Don't get lost in emotional crises that freeze your progress. Instead, think of ways that you can avoid problems and move forward.

7. Enjoy the journey. Make sure you take time to "stop and smell the roses". There isn't any value in reaching a goal only to find out that you are too burned out to enjoy it or have lost all your relationships during the process.

You definitely do not have to be "in the zone" all the time. In fact, that isn't realistic. But you also don't need to be "zoning out" all the time. When you face reality and deal with it in a healthy manner, you won't need to look for ways to escape and will enjoy your life more.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to a complimentary list of 10 Steps to Making Your Life an Adventure when you visit http://lindahancock.com

Author: Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker
Article Source: https://ezinearticles.com/?What-About-Your-Zone?&id=9973213

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Are You Playing A Role In Life?


Since I did the Hoffman process introduction day, I have been thinking about the roles that I used to play as a child. The reason for this is that this one was one of the things that we looked into.

I came to see that I was often the peacemaker, the helper, the responsible one, and the undemanding one. Playing each these roles was a way for me to receive approval and therefore, to survive.

The False Self

But, while playing these roles allowed me to survive, the downside is that I lost touch with my true-self. I behaved how other people wanted me to behave, or how I thought that they wanted me to.

Who I really was ended up being covered up and I continued to behave in the same ways as an adult. Playing these roles was what felt safe and it was what was normal, so my behaviour didn't just change as time went by.

A Time and A Place

Now, this doesn't mean that there isn't a time and a place for me to be a peacemaker or to help others, for instance. What it comes down to is that this should be something I choose to do as opposed to something I always do.

When this is the case, I am behaving like a conscious human being, instead of a programmed machine. This is a bit like how there will be times when it will be necessary to wear a jacket, but it would creates problem if a jacket was always worn.

Over to You

So, now that I have spoken about a number of the roles that played as a child, let's bring the focus over to you. Can you think of any of the roles that you had to play when you were younger?

And once you have done this, can you see how you still play these very same roles as an adult? For example, you might have been the victim, the disappointment, the rescuer and/or the burden.

The Past is Present

The years will then have passed and, regardless of whether your parents are around, you could have re-created your early environment. You won't be in touch with your true-self, meaning you will be behaving in ways that don't reflect who you really are.

Behaving in these ways won't allow you to live a fulfilling life, but they will allow you to meet certain needs. These needs are likely to be just out of your awareness, and, if you were you change your behaviour; you are likely to feel uncomfortable.

Survival

Deep down, you might believe that your life will come to an end if you were to change your behaviour. Thus, even though playing a role - or a number of roles - will stop you from being able to express yourself, it will be what feels comfortable.

A fear of being rejected and abandoned could come up if you behave differently, causing you to believe that you are doing the wrong thing. This would have probably been what happened during your early years if you altered your behaviour and it would have put your life under threat, but now that you are an adult, it is less likely that anything bad will happen.

Final Thoughts

If a friend was to reject you for behaving in an authentic manner, it will create the space for you to attract a new friend who can accept you are as you are. Letting go of someone who can't accept you is far better than staying in contact with someone who you have to put on an act around.

No longer playing different roles is, of course, a process and not something that happens overnight. This is why it is so important to be patient and persistent.


Author: Oliver JR Cooper
Article Source: https://ezinearticles.com/?Are-You-Playing-A-Role-In-Life?&id=9976771

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Getting Stuck in Life

Corb Lund is a western and country singer/songwriter from Alberta. In 2005 he released an album with his song "Truck Got Stuck". Can't help it, I just smile every time I hear it. There are so many lessons in the song lyrics which are apparently based on a true story.

1. People view things differently and perspectives change. Farmers and ranchers who live in southern Alberta usually welcome rain especially after a dry spell. Timing is important, however, and if you are planning an outdoor event, you might not like the timing. Too much rain also can alter attitudes from thankful to annoyed.
2. Things happen to us that are out of our control. Weather patterns, political change, company restructuring, births and deaths occur without our permission.
3. Schedules are affected by outside factors. We cannot guarantee that our day will go as we had planned because there are often things that interfere. Being too rigid can increase stress.
4. Blame is not helpful. Pointing the finger at others can make the situation worse and taking on blame for things that you can't control can hurt your well-being.
5. It is important to call on others to help when we are "stuck".
6. Things we know might not work. We can use strategies or techniques that have been successful in the past that are not helpful right now.
7. Others are affected when they get involved. In Corb's song, some of his friends came to help and in turn, they got stuck. They changed their schedules with noble intentions only to end up in trouble also.
8. We might not get support that we expected. Not everyone is willing to be involved in our problems and we might be both surprised and disappointed because of this.
9. Creativity is important. Getting traction for the stuck vehicles came from pouring canola seed under the wheels of the vehicle. Good thinking!
10. Remember to share your experiences and the lessons learned with others. Writing a song or telling a tale can help other people to get "unstuck". All the better if you can laugh about the problems and solutions you adopted.

I used to think that life was wonderful and then would be disappointed when a problem arose. Maturity has helped me to realize that life is full of problems and we grow as we learn to solve them appropriately without getting too upset. Then, once in a while, we have an amazing problem-free day!

My daughter always says, "When you are sitting in a mud puddle - everything loots like mud". Don't just sit there and feel upset. Call on resources to help you find creative ways to get "unstuck". You might find out that the problem went from being a mess to actually becoming an interesting adventure!

Author: Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker
Article Source: https://ezinearticles.com/?Getting-Stuck-in-Life&id=10017086



Sunday, May 5, 2019

Just Take Action


What an amazing week - so much to celebrate! I am grateful for all of the things we did on the 4th - each being special in their own way. The 5k run with our family was such a fun (and active) way to start the day and it was fun to see so many people out in the community! A new tradition for sure. We then met some friends down at the beach and I am truly grateful for all of the amazing people we have met here. Then on to this beauty for a BBQ, fireworks and sleepover! I had no idea the fireworks over the bay were so spectacular and I'm glad we left the bubble to go! It's funny though, we hemmed and hawed about not doing our usual - block party and fireworks from our yard that we can see from neighbouring Del Mar - but sometimes you just have to say yes to new opportunities and make them happen!

What I'm seeing a lot lately with business owners is that taking action is missing. Not entirely, but just enough to keep them stuck. The subconscious mind has talked them out of taking the action they have mapped out. Read on to see what I mean and how to work through it

The subconscious mind can be sneaky. It will do anything to keep us from stepping out of our comfort zone, including using old patterns and perspectives to cause choices that will follow suit. To keep you where you feel comfortable. It's designed to keep you safe and knows how to get your agreement to do just that. Which is great for some things in life, bit not being a business owner!

Being a business owner requires putting yourself out there and doing different things. It's called innovation and requires stepping out of your comfort zone.

If you're not aware of it, you will continue to spin your wheels and stay where you're at in business (meaning the level you're at). It's what's behind procrastination.

Your subconscious mind will literally talk you into doing the "busy" work first, while never really getting to what you need to do to grow your business. Thus remaining in maintenance mode.

Now, you still take action so you convince yourself it's what you need to be doing, but you know deep down it's not.

Your subconscious mind will throw all kinds of things at you to get you to stop. You might start judging what other people are doing or comparing yourself to others, and talk yourself out of taking those next steps.

Here's the thing, you've got to keep taking action and you will feel better. You will see it's not as scary as you thought - you are safe, and didn't die from doing it!

That might sound obvious, but it's why most people stop. Deep down they have a belief that they are unsafe, unloved, or some version of those beliefs.

Thus making them need the external love and approval from others, and avoiding like the plague anything that would jeopardize this.

This is why a new belief system needs to be created. An empowered and loving belief system like; I am safe, I am loved, I am loveable, etc. Repeating this often, while STILL taking the action.

It's imperative. You must shine a light on this stuff and see it for what it is. It's not the truth. And we don't want it to stop you. This is why reaffirming the new belief while taking the action will help you strengthen the new belief, AND taking action feels good! You will feel more accomplished and confident.

You've gotta trust the process and just keep moving even if it feels uncomfortable. It will get better and taking action when you feel uncomfortable will be the new norm.

I'm not sure who said it but it's a good one:

"Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable"

Author: Chris Atley
Article Source: https://ezinearticles.com/?Just-Take-Action&id=9971863

Friday, May 3, 2019

The Restorative Power of Gratitude

When the concept of gratitude was first mentioned to me, I totally (but politely) dismissed it. I had no idea what I was missing out on.

Recap: I was going through an especially rough time in my life. I had switched careers much to everyone's chagrin, and I wasn't doing well. I was cash-strapped and my business was going downhill. On top of everything, I had to deal with debilitating migraines on the regular.

I needed a way out, yet I had none! I felt stuck and I was extremely anxious of the fact that I may regress to being a dependent in adulthood. That regression would have dealt a blow to my self-esteem, crippling my self-confidence and cultivating thoughts of shame.

Anyway, I eventually started journalling on the regular, and part of my writing included things I'm grateful for. Two months later, I noticed more brighter days, better sleep, less pain and less anxiety.

Gratitude is a power that greatly remains untapped. So great is its power that the University of California, Berkeley set aside $3.1 million specifically to study gratitude and its impact on well being through their Greater Good Science Center.

I will outline the internal mechanics this simple exercise employed and changed my life for good.

More creative power: Anxiety is the number one killer of all creative power. Anxiety paves way to the many "what if's" that arise when an idea comes to mind. Being grateful on the regular subtly short-circuits anxiety that comes with new territory. For your dreams to mature, you have to venture into new territory. By simply writing down what you are grateful for, you shift your focus from what won't work to what can work. This eliminates the "what if's" that freeze creative thoughts in infancy.

Better health: It's widely known that negativity is linked to some degenerative conditions (partly due to the excess stress hormones coarsing through your system). As a former patient of fibromyalgia, I can tell you for free that you do not want excessive stressors in your body! Your body is in pain even without a trigger. Your body will interpret any emotion as pain. With constant pain comes dependency on pain killers, which is just as bad as narcotics! Gratitude journalling forced me to be in the moment. I found myself taking time to bask when the sun was out, breathing fresh air. My list included my wonderful dog, and I instinctively made more time for her. Pets are therapeutic, and my dog helped me out with some loneliness and self-loathing issues.

Increased productivity: Making more time for Lola, my dog, led me to learn to make time for what mattered most TO ME. With more time allocated to what I was passionate about, I found myself reading all I could find on improving my business. I have read books I thought I'd never have time for. I have listened to seminars and joined peer groups on improving myself and guess what! My business has started to improve. It's not yet where I desire it to be, but I can clearly see the upward trajectory. I have developed my skills to accommodate my passion, and this is leading to greater exposure of my business. I am a writer who is passionate about dogs. Writing about dogs has connected me to many dog owners in my area, which in turn became an effective tool for marketing my pet food business. When people see your faith and zeal in what you do, they will invest in you (and buy from you)!

Greater resilience: Today, many months after starting my gratitude ritual, I will admit that life is far from perfect. I still have a long way to go financially, but I don't feel stuck. My business is still a helpless baby, but I still find the energy to continue improving my products. I still encounter people who discount me based on their own prejudices but I have learned not to own their prejudices - if they have a problem with me being myself, then the problem is with them. I have also learned to digest criticism in such a way that I internalize the constructive part, and reject the degrading part.

More awareness: Writing down what you are grateful for forces you to be in the moment. Developing awareness has numerous advantages. From fine-tuning your instinct to improving creativity, self-awareness allows you to have clarity on yourself. You will note what is good and what needs improvement and guess what, you won't feel devastated when the not-so-good areas of your life are exposed. Plus, you will have more commitment to work on yourself. We all know how sweet the fruits of self-improvement are.
Gratitude isn't a matter of just learning to mouth "thank you" to everyone. It's internal; a personal experience. And, it will change your life. This is a life skill that will stay with you for life. So, start today. Take just ten minutes everyday to remember what made you happy that day. It will take some little time to get going, but the effects will last a lifetime!

Author: Julliet Mburu
Article Source: https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Restorative-Power-of-Gratitude&id=9935293



Wednesday, May 1, 2019

The Story That's Holding You Back



I loved this Instagram post from John Assaraf (from the Secret) yesterday so much that I had share it here.

I encounter this all of the time with my own coaching clients especially when they're in resistance. BY resistance I mean, not willing to see things a different way. Where they are so attached to their reason / story / excuse / whatever you want to call it, that they are unwilling to see the way to achieve their goals.
I'm not going to lie, I find it extremely difficult to coach someone when they're in this energy. But then I remember their ego has taken a hold of them and that getting frustrated is not going to be the way to best help. What I've realized is that it's essential to identify where the problem lies. If you try to talk to someone about strategy when they're in this space, it will not land. The resistance only gains traction. The belief that is keeping them in this place must be addressed. What are they believing underneath the story that is keeping them in this pattern? Once you can identify that belief, and then create the empowered belief they want to have instead, massive momentum occurs! I just had a client shift from a disempowered state to an empowered place instead, and within a week she finished the month strong AND created the best month she's had in a year!!!!!! Now THAT is exciting and WORTH diving deep!!!

The issue is that when we're caught-up in a story of why we can't do something we're actually getting something out of it on a deeper level. Behind every so called "negative story" there is always a positive intention. So what is it for you? How is that old story serving you deep down? Likely something about safety, love, acceptance, approval, etc. Dig deep and you will find it. You then need to make sure that in your dream life - where you are doing, being and having what you love, that the positive intention you identified above is honoured. You need to remind yourself of this over and over (consistent repetition reprograms the subconscious mind), while thinking of an emotional memory of when this was actually true for you. You need to remind yourself of this OVER and OVER. I can't stress this enough. You will then start to create new experiences that strengthen the new belief system you are trying to operate from.

BUT... you have to be willing to dig this stuff out AND most people aren't. It can be painful to see why we do things deep down and to take responsibility for what we are creating in our own lives. No one is responsible but you.

A client asked the other day how long it is going to take for her business to take off. My reply was as soon as you don't let your subconscious mind stop you. It's designed to keep you safe and putting yourself out there while building a business does not feel safe. I just challenged myself to reach out to someone on my own "chicken list" AND it went amazing! I'm so excited for what the future holds! Force yourself to do the activity you know will yield results, while working on your belief system. Your subconscious mind wants to get your agreement to stop. It will tell you things like you're too tired, you don't have enough time, and that you're not good enough.

As Marianne Williamson says,

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

You have to be willing to step into the best version of you, one step at a time.

You've got this.
Author: Chris Atley
Article Source: https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Story-Thats-Holding-You-Back&id=10032062