How to make stress your friend | Kelly McGonigal

Do you want to live longer? Do you want to deal better with stress. Listen to this talk by Kelly McGonigal to find out how.

Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positive, and introduces us to an unsung mechanism for stress reduction: reaching out to others.



So what should you do to live longer and be able to deal with stress. You should do the following  3 things.

1.Rethink your view to stress from being bad to something good that is making your body energised and ready for action. Stress actually has some benefits as it releases oxytocin which:
      i)Makes you more social.
     ii)It is anti-inflammatory
    iii)It repairs your heart

2.Care for others

3. Go after meaning in your life.

Rethink you view of Stress

Your belief changes your world and now has been shown to save your life.

An 8 year study of 30,000 people showed that people who did not view stress as harmful had the lowest risk of dying.

Another study analysing people under a stressful situation (the social stress test) would have blood vessels constricting normally but they wouldn't constrict if they viewed stress as a sign that their body was energized and preparing to meet a challenge. So you should think of the stress response as helpful, as it is preparing you for action.

Makes you social

Oxytocin is a neuro hormone. People don't realise it is a stress hormone pumped out by pituitary gland. It has been called the cuddle hormone. It makes you crave contact, seek support, increase empathy and make you help people.

Anti-inflammatory
Oxytocin is anti -inflammatory

Strengthens you heart
Oxytocin helps heart cells regenerate and heal form any stress induced damage

Caring for others

A study of 1000 adults with ages ranging  form 34 to 93 showed that people who spent time caring for others showed absolutely no stress related increase in dying. Caring created resilience

Go after meaning

Go after meaning is more important than avoiding discomfort.

The puzzle of motivation | Dan Pink

Career analyst Dan Pink examines the puzzle of motivation, starting with a fact that social scientists know but most managers don't: Traditional rewards aren't always as effective as we think. Listen for illuminating stories -- and maybe, a way forward.

Have you heard about the candle problem, devised by the psychologist Karl Dunker in 1945 or the work done by the economist Dan Areily?

The experiments they did show a surprising fact about motivation. People think it is all carrots and sticks but maybe it's not.

There is a mismatch between what science knows and what business does. Here is what science knows. One: Those 20th century rewards, those motivators we think are a natural part of business, do work, but only in a surprisingly narrow band of circumstances. Two: Those if-then rewards often destroy creativity. Three: The secret to high performance isn't rewards and punishments, but that unseen intrinsic drive-- the drive to do things for their own sake. The drive to do things cause they matter.

Find out more in this amazing talk.

Why we do what we do | Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins discusses the "invisible forces" that motivate everyone's actions

He talks about:

What is your motive for action? 

What is it that drives you in your life today? Not 10 years ago.Are you running the same pattern? Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive, activated, is the most important thing. I'm here because I believe emotion is the force of life

What makes the difference in people's performance?

If you don't have the money, but you're creative and determined, you find the way. This is the ultimate resource

What are we directed by?

We are directed by what what we target and  our  model of the world  

We have six needs.  Your lead system tilts you in a certain direction. The needs are:

Personality
1. Certainty
2.Uncertainty surpirses
3.Significance - feel important ,unique and different
4..Connection and love

Spirit
5.fulfillment - grow to have something to give of value
6.Contribution

If you were to die

If  you were going to die, who would you call, what would you say, what would you do?

Explore

Explore your web, the web in your head -- the needs, the beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you, for two reasons: so there's more of you to give, and achieve, too, but I mean give, because that's what's going to fill you up. And secondly, so you can appreciate -- not just understand, that's intellectual, that's the mind, but appreciate what's driving other people. It's the only way our world's going to change

What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Ro...

What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

These Are Arnold Schwarzenegger's 5 Rules for Success

From Kindergarten cop to the terminator. Transform your life by following big Arnie's 5 success secrets.

1 Vision 

Find your passion

2 Think big

If you are going to think you might as well thing Big.

3 Ignore the naysayers

In fact your liabilities can be your assets 

They initially said he was too big to be an actor. 

They intially said his Austrian accent would never work in Hollywood. 

Later on they said if they didn't have Arnold they would have had to build someone like him for Conan. When they made Terminator, James Cameron said  the "I'll be back line" became so famous because of Arnold's crazy accent. 

4 Work your ass off 

Arnold had a job, did acting classes after then did English classes.

5 Dont just take, Give somthing back

 "if not us, who ? if not now when?"

The secret to living longer may be your social life | Susan Pinker

The Italian island of Sardinia has more than six times as many centenarians as the mainland and ten times as many as North America. Why? According to psychologist Susan Pinker, it's not a sunny disposition or a low-fat, gluten-free diet that keeps the islanders healthy -- it's their emphasis on close personal relationships and face-to-face interactions. Learn more about super longevity as Pinker explains what it takes to live to 100 and beyond.

Start with why -- how great leaders inspire action | Simon Sinek | TEDxP...

Here is an amazing, inspiring and thought provoking talk by Simon Sinek: Start with why - how great leaders inspire action
Why is your purpose, it is your reason for doing what you do. Now imagine if you could find 100 whys. (reasons.) How powerful would that be. The more whys that you can discover, the more powerful that you will become. Why (purpose) is the first cornerstone of your success talisman. The more whys (reasons), the more power. One why gets the ball rolling, but you need to find as many whys as you can.

5 Body Language Tricks To Make Anyone Instantly Like You

Wouldn't it be  great if you could create instant rapport. Wouldn't it be great to make anyone instantly like you? Here are 5 body language tricks to do just that.




5 Body Language Tricks To Make Anyone Instantly Like You - Free English Lessons There's no question that body language is important, you can capture - and hold - anyone's attention without even saying a word. We've selected some of the best body language techniques and shared them through this lesson: The Flooding Smile "Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet someone," If you do, it appears as if anyone in your line of sight would receive that same smile. Instead, pause and look at the other person's face for a second, and then let a "big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes." Even though the delay is less than a second, it will convince people your smile is sincere and personalized for them. According to Lowndes, a slower smile can add more richness and depth to how people perceive you. Sticky Eyes Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner's with sticky warm taffy, Even after they've finished speaking, don't break eye contact. "When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string finally breaks." This technique will help you appear more intelligent and insightful. The Big-Baby Pivot People are very conscious of how you react to them. When you meet someone new, turn your body fully toward them and give them the same, undivided attention you would give a baby.Pivoting 100% towards the new person shouts, 'I think you are very, very special.'" Limit the Fidget If you want to appear credible, try not to move too much when your conversation really matters. "Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch, Frequent hand motions near your face can give your listener the feeling that you're lying or anxious. Instead, simply fix a constant gaze on the listener and show them that you're fully concentrated on the matter at hand. Using your hands Use you hands to create appropriate gestures. Hand movements help you to get the words out of your mouth accelerating your thought process. Do not cross your hands while speaking, It passes a signal that your are disinterested in a conversation.

Jim Rohn: How To Become A BILLIONAIRE (SERIOUSLY)

Jim Rohn: How To Become A BILLIONAIRE (SERIOUSLY) "I teach kids how to be rich by the time they are age 40, 35 if they are extra bright. Most kids think they are extra bright, so they go for 35." -- Jim Rohn. Rich people live in a world of abundance. Poor people live in a world of limitation. Poor people think there’s not enough to go around in the world. They come from a fear-based mindset. Their answers are “either/or,” but never “both.” In a poor person’s mindset, they go for security above love, safety before self-expression, and protection over possibility. Rich people understand that with a little creativity, a willingness to be unconventional and an open mind, they can have both. When you build your life on the “Both!” mentality, you will see opportunities that you were once blind to. What about you? Are you a possibility theorist or a fear-based thinker?

21 Step To Success

What makes someone successful? What does success mean to you - health, wealth,  happiness, good relationships, prestigious job, fame, freedom? It  means different things to different people. Here are some techniques that successful people have used.  Have a look at them and try a few on for size.

1. Have a clear vision and write down your dreams and goals.

You can either follow your dream or work for someone else to make their dream happen  and guess what they probably don't have good intentions for you. So it's important that you write down you specific, timely vision and goals and repeat them every morning and evening.

2. Dream big

If you are going to thing of something, you might as well think big. There is less competition out there when you think big.

“When you grow up you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family life, have fun, save a little money. That's a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it… Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again.”...Steve Jobs

3. Have a reason why 

This is possibly the most important thing to succeed. If you have a big enough why, you can do any how.
 In his amazing book ' Man's search for meaning', Victor Frankl said that the people who survived the concentration camps were the ones who had a reason to live. They had something to do, someone to see, some place to go to.

You need  a big reason why for yourself and also when communicating your vision to others. This is beautifully summarized by Antoine de Saint Exupery (of the Little Prince fame).

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea"

If you can attach your reason why to others (your parents or a friend  or your kids) then this makes a much more stronger motivating, driving force.

4. Set timed milestones

Once you have your goals, you need to have a plan with time -bound milestones. Break your big goals into smaller, realistic, assigned blocks. This helps make the plan more realistic and achievable.

5. Set up a feedback and measuring process

If you were walking with your eyes closed near a cliff, you could fall to your death. It is obvious you need a measuring and feedback process here. However in life and  jobs and relationships, people are so 'busy' in the day to day that they forget if they are going in the direction they want to. Time goes quicker and quicker and  it is the end of the year before you know it and most people don't know where the year has gone or what they have done. A feedback and measuring process will help you keep on track.

6. Focus on Value not Money or Fame

You should do things not for fame or money but because of the value you are providing.  Millionaires have told me that everytime they have gone after money they have failed but when they have gone to provide value, they have succeeded.
Everyone knows about the Wright brothers  and their first first manned flight but not many people know about Samuel Piermont Langley. He  had government support and  lots of public exposure. He was after fame and money. His attempt failed dismally. The Wright brother's then tried 9 days after with no fanfare or large public and they succeeded. They were constantly working to  improve and testing and reworking. They use to take many sets of replacements, when they were testing to fix and retry. They were after value and not just money and they succeeded.

7. Love the Journey

You need to find something that you love to do. Like a passionate surfer. He goes out because he loves to surf, whatever the conditions or how he is feeling and because he constantly does it, he gets better and better.

8. The perfect is the enemy of the good

Perfectionism leads to procrastination which leads to paralysis. The famous phrase is ready, aim,fire. 

It should be ready, fire, aim. People wait too long and miss opportunities. You should do it and then update and improve it. If you  wait for perfection, you will be too late.

9. Look for simple solutions

A lot of time we are following the day to day process, but not being smart.
Ask yourself the question 'How can this be easy'?. This will make your brain look at how you can simplify and find solutions to overcome obstacles, be more efficient and effective.

10. Focus

When Warren Buffet came to have dinner with Bill Gates and other guests, they were asked what is the one thing that has contributed most to their success and they both answered focus. Make sure you focus by having a clear goal and just working on the task in hand. The Pomodoro technique is a good way to focus.

11. Be yourself

Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?
Don't try and copy someone else, you can take bits from them but what makes you unique is what is special about you and your business and your impact on the world. Never forget that.

12. Make your goals much bigger than your problems so your problems become insignificant.

This is another big one.
Many people suffer from depression or dehabilitating  anxiety attacks and they take medication to resolve it, which has the danger of side effects.
The trick is to focus on your goals and make your quest so big and colourful that it takes all your attention. You will be so focused on this that you will just blast through any problems you have and you will not even think about your anxiety.

13. Fail often

Thomas J. Watson (the head of IBM) talked about this. He said:

"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't as all. You can be discouraged by failure - or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember, that's where you will find success"


Thomas edison failed many times in his attempt to create the lightbulb. Hesaid "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" If  you learn, you don't fail.

14. Take action

Don't procrastinate. Start now and do it.
Try and build little successes into your plan to build momentum.

15. Never stop learning.

You are either going forward or backward. You are never standing still because other people are moving forward. Technology has put so much information around you and accessible so you should use it. You can  learn anything on line now, e.g on sites like udemy, khan academy, creative live, safari books,  You Tube, Wiki How

16. Dont be afraid

A lot of the time we don't do things because we are afraid. However what we worry about is usually much worse than reality. 

F.E.A,R stands for False Expectation Appearing Real. Mark Twain summarised it best....

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”

So the thing to do is :

a) Write down what you fear

b) Think what is the worst that could happen

c) Think what you could do mitigate that happening

d) If the worst happened think what you could do to recover (and you could set this up now).

17. Give back

Giving makes you feel happier.Scientists believe that altruistic behavior releases endorphins in the brain, producing the positive feeling known as the “helper’s high.”

18. Think positive

Don't think of a red elephant. Don't thing of a massive red elephant charging  towards you. Don't think of his red trunk and tusks. It's difficult isn't it. Your brain can't not think of anything. So if you are thinking negative thoughts they are impacting your life, your environment and your destiny. So think positive.

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. 

Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. 

Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. 

Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. 

Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny. — Chinese proverb

19. Get daily habits

You become what you repeatedly do. Excellence therefore is not a skill but a habit...... Aristotle

So in order to become successful, you should build daily routines to help you become successful. e.g exercise daily (go for a walk/run/swim/ go to the gym), show gratitude, think of your top 3 tasks for the day, plan your day the night before).

20. Start with the end in mind

This is Steven Covey's habit no 2 from his book '7 Habits of highly successful people'.

There is a famous latin phrase ' Respice Finem' (it means look to the end).

Both of these show that you should focus on what you are trying to achieve as many times we get lost in the detail and in the process of doing stuff and  therefore don't achieve the results we want.

21 Be grateful 

Many of the most successful people are grateful. A good morning routine is to say, when you wake up, 3 reasons that you are grateful. This makes you feel much happier. 

Copyright Ash Fernando 2018

7 Ways to Make a Conversation With Anyone | Malavika Varadan | TEDxBITSP...

They say your network is your networth. Wouldn't it be great to have a bigger network.
“We mustn’t speak to strangers.” Malavika Varadan, challenges this societal norm, by presenting 7 ways to make conversation with anyone.

The Most Important Success Factor for Bill Gates and Warren Buffet

Imagine if you could have the success of Buffett and Gates. Wouldn't that be amazing? 

Well, Gate's mother invited Buffett to dinner with other guests. Then during the meal, She asked all her guests, what they believed was the single most important factor in their success though their life. 

Bill Gates and Warren Buffett had the same answer..........FOCUS

So how can we follow in their footsteps and use focus?

1. Set SMART goals and milestones

You need to decide what your priorities are then you can create smart goals to attain them..

S....Specific 

The universe favours the specific ask and punishes the  vague wish. Make sure you state exactly what you want.

M...Measured

What gets measured gets managed. Make sure there is some indicator of progress that you can refer to.

A....Achievable/Assignable

Make sure it is achievable and not too unrealistic. Otherwise you will never really commit. Also make sure it is assigned and the sub-parts are assigned.

R....Relevant

Make sure it is relevant to your circumstances.

T.....Time Bound

You must set time bound milestones so that you know when the results can be achieved.

2. Follow the Path

Warren buffet ,one of the greatest investors ever, sticks to exactly the types of business he understands and trades on this. He doesn't get sidetracked by other distractions. Plan the trade and  trade the plan.
Make sure that once you have set your goals, you follow them and are not distracted.

3.Learn the rule sof the game 

 Einstein said "you have to learn the rules of the game. and then you have to play better then anyone else"

Picasso said " learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist".

You need to learn the rules and immerse yourself in your subject so that you can truly master it.

Bill Gates has a think week. He does it  twice a year. He basically creates time and space to seclude himself for a week and do nothing but read articles and spend time researching and understanding his current area of focus. 

You should always spend some time to learn the rules of the game and think of the bigger picutre. Whether its an hour a day or an hour a week or more time, you should always make time.

4.Measure and feedback

They say that planes are off course for 97% of the time. They are constantly re-adjusting.

Most people never know when they are off course from their goals but this is vital. Create a measuring and feedback process (eg daily review in a notebook). This will support your focus.

Toggl is a mobile and desktop app which you can use to see how much time you use on various activities. You can then measure the time you spend and change it based on you focus and goals.

Toggl

5. Outsource non essential items

Work out what is the important valuable work you do and outsource the rest. Your time is valuable.

6. Use the  Pomodoro Technique

Francesco Cirillo was constantly getting distracted at university.  He decided to study more efficiently and grabbed a tomato shaped kitchen timer. He set it for 10 minutes and worked solidly then had a break. He realised that this was effective to be productive. 

With further testing and evaluation, he created a structure called the Pomodoro Technique (named after the Italian word for 'Tomato'). This consists of breaking you work into focused time blocks (25mins) followed by a short break (5mins). You then have a longer break after 4 consecutive time blocks you then have a longer break (15mins).

There are quite a few Pomodorro aps, e.g.



Focus Keeper  

Be Focused




30/30






It's amazing what you can do if you are focussed.  John F kennedy said he would put a man on the moon within the decade and he did. What could you do, if you start to focus? 

Copyright Ash Fernando 2018

Top hacker shows us how it's done | Pablos Holman | TEDxMidwest

You think your wireless and other technology is safe? From Blue Tooth to automobile remotes, PCs, and "secure" credit cards, Hacker extraordinaire shows how nearly every secure system is vulnerable.

How to Become a Millionaire in 3 Years | Daniel Ally | TEDxBergenCommuni...

When most people say they want to be a millionaire, they’re really saying that they want to spend one million dollars. Besides winning the lotto or inheriting money, you’ll learn three key elements used by the most successful people who have ever lived. You’ll not only be able to learn how to become a millionaire, but you’ll learn the real reason of why it helps our society to alleviate poverty. This valuable session offers the solutions that you’ll need to be successful for the rest of your life, whether you want to be a millionaire or not.




Daniel Ally became a self-made millionaire at the age of 24.
It all started when he realized that he was living far below his potential. After years of drug abuse and failing at life, Daniel was fed up. One day, he went to his local library and searched endlessly for truth. After discovering a few books, he decided to turn his life around. For many years, Daniel gave thousands of speeches, reached millions of people, and built successful companies, making Daniel a millionaire in the process. Search on the internet and you’ll find that TIME, Fortune, Business Insider, Yahoo, and other major publications have enjoyed Daniel’s work. He is also a top contributor on Entrepreneur Magazine. He is the author of two best-selling books, which can be found in 46 different countries in thousands of libraries. From billionaires in Boston to amateurs in Austin, Daniel has traveled to hundreds of cities, shaking hands and connecting with all kinds of people across the globe.

15 Things Poor People Do That The Rich Don’t

What is the difference between the rich and the poor? This video attempts to answer this and the following questions:

What are some things that make you poor?
Why do some people get rich while others stay poor?
What do rich people do everyday?
How to get rich?
Why am I poor?
Why are people poor?
Are poor people lazy?
What is the difference in mindset between rich and poor?
What habits make you rich?
What habits make you poor?
What to do to be rich?

Elon Musk: How I Became The Real 'Iron Man'

Profile of Elon Musk, the entrepreneur who helped create PayPal, built America's first viable fully electric car company, started the nation's biggest solar energy supplier, and may make commercial space travel a reality in our lifetime.

The Secret To Be A Great Speaker And Never Be Lost For Words

Are you scared of speaking in  front of an audience? Do you never know what to say? Do you find yourself lost for words? Are your petrified of speaking?

Most people are petrified of public speaking. In most polls of top fears,  public speaking comes above  death. Seriously, how can you be more afraid  of public speaking than dying! As Jay Leno quipped, “I guess we’d rather be in the casket than delivering the eulogy.”  Well it goes back to evolutionary biology. Early man wasn't the strongest or fastest but was protected by being in a group of humans, who could work together to catch food, protect and support each other. To be kicked out of the group would mean death. So we  still have this fear of doing anything that would make us kicked out of a group - see the article in psychology today

If fI told there was a way you could become an AMAZING speaker and never be lost for words, would you be interested? What if I told you that this way would also give you some fantastic friends and great experiences?

Well the secret is a global organisation called Toastmasters and all you have to do is go twice a month and before you know you'll be the master of any room.

 

So how does it work?

There are 1000s of clubs around the world - check out the website http://www.toastmasters.org/ and find a local club.

Most clubs meet twice a month for a couple of hours each time.

Most meetings have two halves with a short break in between. In one half there are table topics and  in the other half there are  prepared speeches.

Table Topics

 

Imagine you are sitting in the audience? The speaker at the front calls out your name and says a subject that you have not heard before.  You have until you stand up and get to the front of the room to prepare your speech and then you have to speak for a couple of minutes. Sound terrifying? Initially it is but after a while you learn there's a structure (into, body (with a few points) and conclusion) and you fill in the structure. After you practice a few times, you get used to this and soon  you will be sounding like a professional or expert and your friends will be wondering how you know so much! The abilty to think and speak  quickly is such an important skill to have and you learn it here.

Prepared Speeches

The second section  is where you give prepared speeches and critiques on the speeches. 

The basic step in Toastmasters is to do the Competent Communicator Manual. This consists of 10 speeches where you go from being a scared nervous wreck to  become a polished professional speaker.   

Each speech focuses on a different area so that you can really concentrate on one section and can get valuable feedback on what went well and what you can improve on for next time. The speeches are:

1 Icebreaker (4-6 minutes) 

This is the first speech and gets you speaking before an audience.
You learn to create an opening,  a middle (with 3 or 4 points and an ending.
You also practice developing your eye contact and get over the  initial hurdle of speaking in  front of an audience.

2 Organise your speech (5-7 minutes) 

In this speech, you learn to  assemble your speech in  a logical manner which makes it easier and  more enjoyable for the audience.

You learn to create a structure, e.g.
 
   Chronological
   Spatial
   Causal
   Comparative 
   Problem-solution

You also develop on the opening, body and close format you learnt in speech 1.

The opening should grab the audience's attention  (e.g. a startling question or challenging statement, a quotation, or a surprise). and then lead into the speech topic.

The body should have 3 or 4 main points and a few subpoints.  You should also pay attention to the  transitions.

The conclusion should reinforce your ideas and leave listeners with a lasting impression (e.g having the final line of the speech having a challenge, a question or an anecdote/quotation)

3 Get to the point (5-7 minutes) 

This to me is the most important of the 10 speeches and the most important point in any communication. How would you  define communication? To me it is the action that your audience does after your communication.
For this speech you must be clear what you want the audience to do or know after the speech. There are two purposes - general and specific.

4 How to say it (5-7 minutes) 

This speech teaches you how to select the right words and sentence structure to communicate your ideas clearly, accurately and vividly and to use rhetorical devices to enhance and empasize ideas, e.g you will be using:

Short paragraphs
Vivid words (senses)/ active not passive
Rhetorical device (arranging words to make idea or thought sound more pleasing and easier for listeners to remember)
Similies/Metaphors
Alliteration (repeated sounds - like  hallowed halls or  struts and frets)
Triads/power of 3
Use words economically
No jargon

5 Your body speaks (5-7 minutes)

This speech teaches you about body language, posture, stance, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact and stage presence. You learn to :

Keep good posture (not to nervously swing from side to side).
Move sideways as you tansition to another point
Move toward audience to emphasize important points.
Use movement to dramatize a point (eg throw a ball)
Gestures
Facial expressions (e.g. sadness [lower eyelids, turn down mouth slightly, bow head], surprise /disbelief  [widening eyes/raise eyebrows])

6 Vocal variety (5-7 minutes)

Your voice is one of the most powerful tools we have. It can start a war or tell someone 'I love you'. 

In this speech you learn how to use your voice to enhance the speech. You learn:

Breathing (abdomen/posture)
Volume
Pitch
Rate
Quality (friendly/harsh - relax)
The pause (this is the most powerful part of a speech)
Be expressive

7 Research your topic (5-7 minutes)

In this speech you collect information from numerous sources and carefully support your points with specific facts, examples and illustrations.

8 Get comfortable with visual aids  (5-7 minutes)

In this speech you learn to use visual aids to emphasize and enhance your speech. You learn:

How to maintain good eye contact while referring to a display
How to use aids to reinforce main points and enhance understanding
Display tips

9 Persuade with power (5-7 minutes)

In this speech you learn the art of persuasion. You need to think who  the audience is and  how you will persuade them (logic, emotion, understand what's in it for me, etc). You learn:

Types and structure of persuasion (inspire, convince, call to action)
Your role- the audience's opinion of you is important (are you knowledgeable, credible , qualified)
Burden of proof
Credibility
Logic
Using emotion - happiness, sadness, fear, anger ,guilt, love
WIIFM - whats in it for me
How to organise your message
Problem /solution
Proposition to proof (proposition statement, then proofs)
Comparative advantage
Problem statement-possible solutions (advantage/disadvantage). Why your solution is best
Motivated sequence
Getting attention and visualising
Getting action
Refute the opposition's argument starting with their strongest, concluding with their weakest (listeners remember best what they hear last so will think the oppositions position is weak. consequently your last point should be strongest as they will remember it)

10 Inspire your audience (8-10 mins)

In this speech you learn how to inspire your audience by:

Connecting with the audience (using Maslow's hierarchy of needs).

Using quotes/stories/anecdotes through the speech (human interest stories, anecdotes about overcoming adversity/achieving success)

Using  language that unites listeners and establishes a bond between you and them
Using vivid words
Using action verbs to convey power
Using positive words (not criticism, to stir them into action)
Appealing to the audience's needs and  emotions

 I love toastmasters. It is a conveyor belt to success. All you need to do, to be certain of being a great speaker, is to go to your local Toastmaster's club. http://www.toastmasters.org/

Toastmasters WILL MAKE you an amazing confident speaker, having the audience hooked on every word you are saying.  What are you waiting for?

Tony Robbins - The Keys To Massive Success

Watch all the way to the end because this 35 minute video could be worth millions to you! Tony Robbins delivers a life-changing, easy to follow blueprint in the time it takes you to watch a half-hour TV show! Watch this as many times as you can and, more importantly, put into practice what you learn here today. If you do that, I can promise you that your life will explode into massive and positive change!

Build a tower, build a team | Tom Wujec

Do you want to  know the secret of  successfully completing a project? Do you want a fun game for your team to learn this? Do you  want to see the different collaboration types? Bring on the marshmallow challenge.

18 Techniques To Control Anger

Anger can totally destroy a situation , you can end up losing control, losing friends and causing devastating consequences.  So what's happening and how can I deal with it? 

What is Anger?

Anger is your body's feedback to feeling attacked, deceived, frustrated or treated unfairly. It's not always a bad thing. It's good if it helps us know what is wrong or motivates us to change or it gives us energy. However it can be destructive and devastating.

What can we do?

A. Learn to Notice your body's signals when you are angry

1.Anger is your body's feedback.

In order to control it, you need to realise before you get too angry and lose control. Learn to recognise your anger signs, e.g. your heart beats faster , your breathing quickens, tension in the shoulders or it could be a trigger (seeing somebody, discussing some topic). Learn to notice your body's signals then you can admit that you are angry and observe and acknowledge it. Then you can use the techniques in the next section.

B. If you are Angry -Retake Control

2.Realise that anger is internal.

No one makes you angry. You make yourself angry. As Aldos Huxley says 'experience is not what happens to us, it is how we deal with what happens to us'. Realise you are in control and it is your choice and take ownership.

3. Slow your breathing. 

In the East they say that 'the mind is the kite and the breath is the string' so your breathing can control your mind and  anger.  Breathe out longer than you breathe in. This will slow down and put the brakes on your anger and allow you to take control.

4.Distract yourself. 

Anger is temporary. Most humans can only focus on one thing at a time so count slowly from 10 to 1 (or 100 if you have time).

5.Remove yourself from the situation. 

This will give you time to calm down and rethink.

6.Think of the end result. 

Stephen Covey in his '7 habits of highly effective people' talks about habit no 2 - Start with the end in mind. Think how is your response helping the situation? You might be angry but your response and the end result might not be what you want. How will you feel the next day or the next week. On ce you take this perspective of time you can see the impact and change your behaviour.

7.Put it into perspective. 

We are all going to die. Your time is limited so it makes no sense to waste precious time or energy on getting angry

8.Release the Anger in a good way

Anger builds up energy in the body so this needs to be released. Exercise is great for this, if you can go for a run or even just a walk, this will dissipate the energy.

9.Use the Energy. 

Anger has generated energy so use this. Remember how you feel and then use this to draw or write, paint or make music. Be creative and use this energy to create masterpieces.

10.Morning pages. 

 Julia Cameron in her book the Artist's way talks about morning pages. Just get 3 empty pages and start writing and just keep writing and try to fill up the pages. Friends of mine have said this is better than therapy. This is a brilliant exercise as you can bring all the thoughts in your head out into the real world. Once tangible then can be seen, examined and dissected one by one , then they lose their power over you.

11.Think of a relaxing scene

Once you've dissipated the energy - think of a relaxing scene. A summer day in the park? A good evening chatting with friends. Again the body can only think of one thing at a time so if you think of something relaxing, you can't be angry at the same time (really visualise - see the scene, hear the sounds around you, smell any of the smells, think of the sensations on your skin, any tastes in your mouth - really go into this relaxing scene). 

12.Talk to someone you trust about how you feel. 

Talking will help you bring out the feelings.

C. Find source and solution

13.Work out why are you angry.

 Most of time it is self defensive, or becausee of unresolved fears or your ego is threatened.

14.Work out what you are feeling

Work out what you are feeling  and where in your body it is. What shape, colour vibration does it have for you. Then you could try and change this eg if it is fiery red you could try and change to a calm blue. 

15.Think of possible alternative actions to resolve your anger. 

Then think of results of each action. Then choose one.

16.Think of it as a learning experience. 

What can I learn from this?

17.Express your frustration

Once you are calm then express your frustration in an assertive but non confrontational way . State your concerns and needs clearly and directly.

D. Prepare for next time.

18.Plan for next time. 

History repeats itself so think when will this occur again and think what will be the triggers for you to get angry. Then think what alternative action could you do? Play through a few scenarios in your mind (really visualise them). You will then find the next time you see the triggers you will have an alternative path.



To finish let me leave you with a couple of quotes from the Buddha.

1) How the Buddha spoke to an angry man
One day Gauthama Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake." Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?" The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift." The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself." If you are right then there is no need to get angry And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

2) The Buddha's thoughts on anger
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned

What are you thoughts? Have you found  any good techniques to deal with anger? Write in  the comments!

Copyright 2018 Ash Fernando

How To Gain Control Of Your Free Time

There are 168 hours in each week. How do we find time for what matters most? Time management expert Laura Vanderkam studies how busy people spend their lives, and she's discovered that many of us drastically overestimate our commitments each week, while underestimating the time we have to ourselves. She offers a few practical strategies to help find more time for what matters to us, so we can "build the lives we want in the time we've got."

Warren Buffet's '20 Slot' Rule: How to Simplify Your Life and Maximise Your Result

Are you getting the results or are you putting in lots of work but not progressing? If so do you wonder why you are not succeding? Warren Buffet might have the solution for you. Here's great advice from Warren Buffet, summarised by John Clear on how to maximise your results.


Warren Buffett’s ‘20 Slot’ Rule: How to Simplify Your Life and Maximize Your Results




Charlie Munger settled into his seat in front of the crowd at the University of Southern California.

It was 1994 and Munger had spent the last 20 years working alongside Warren Buffett as the two men grew Berkshire Hathaway into a billion-dollar corporation.

Today, Munger was delivering a talk to the USC Business School entitled, “A Lesson on Elementary Worldly Wisdom.” (1)

About halfway through his presentation, hidden among many fantastic lessons, Munger discussed a strategy that Warren Buffett had used with great success throughout his career.

Here it is:

When Warren lectures at business schools, he says, “I could improve your ultimate financial welfare by giving you a ticket with only 20 slots in it so that you had 20 punches — representing all the investments that you got to make in a lifetime. And once you’d punched through the card, you couldn’t make any more investments at all.”

He says, “Under those rules, you’d really think carefully about what you did and you’d be forced to load up on what you’d really thought about. So you’d do so much better.”

Again, this is a concept that seems perfectly obvious to me. And to Warren it seems perfectly obvious. But this is one of the very few business classes in the U.S. where anybody will be saying so. It just isn’t the conventional wisdom.

To me, it’s obvious that the winner has to bet very selectively. It’s been obvious to me since very early in life. I don’t know why it’s not obvious to very many other people.
The Underrated Importance of Selective Focus

Warren Buffett’s “20-Slot” Rule isn’t just useful for financial investments, it’s a sound approach for time investments as well. In particular, what struck me about Buffett’s strategy was his idea of “forcing yourself to load up” and go all in on an investment.

The key point is this:

Your odds of success improve when you are forced to direct all of your energy and attention to fewer tasks.

If you want to master a skill — truly master it — you have to be selective with your time. You have to ruthlessly trim away good ideas to make room for great ones. You have to focus on a few essential tasks and ignore the distractions. You have to commit to working through 10 years of silence.
Simplify and Go All In

If you take a look around, you’ll notice very few people actually go “all in” on a single skill or goal for an extended period of time.

Rather than researching carefully and pouring themselves into a goal for a year or two, most people “dip their toes in the water” and chase a new diet, a new college major, a new exercise routine, a new side business idea, or a new career path for a few weeks or months before jumping onto the next new thing.

In my experience, so few people display the persistence to practice one thing for an extended period of time that you can actually become very good in many areas — maybe even world-class — with just one year of focused work. If you view your life as a 20-slot punchcard and each slot is a period of focused work for a year or two, then you can see how you can enjoy significant returns on your invested time simply by going all in on a few things.

My point here is that everyone is holding a “life punchcard” and, if we are considering how many things we can master in a lifetime, there aren’t many slots on that card. You only get so many punches during your time on this little planet. Unlike financial investments, your 20 “life slots” are going to get punched whether you like it or not. The time will pass either way.

Don’t waste your next slot. Think carefully, make a decision, and go all in. Don’t just kind of go for it. Go all in. Your final results are merely a reflection of your prior commitment.


James Clear: https://medium.com/the-mission/warren-buffetts-20-slot-rule-how-to-simplify-your-life-and-maximize-your-results-760e7109ffe8

10 Morning Routine Habits of Successful People

Successful people active greatness by having a daily process. Here's an interesting video on some morning rituals to get you focused and ready for a good day.



What did you think of them? Do you have your own morning routines?

Best Methods to Build Rapport

Would you like people to like you? Would you like to have better connections with people? Would you like to be more successful by having better interactions? Tony Robbins gives advice on  how to build rapport.

The Science Of Attraction

Romantic chemistry is all about warm, gooey feelings that gush from the deepest depths of the heart...right? Not quite. Actually, the real boss behind attraction is your brain, which runs through a very quick, very complex series of calculations when assessing a potential partner. Dawn Maslar explores how our five senses contribute to this mating game, citing some pretty wild studies along the way.

3 Tips To Boost Your Confidence

Do you ever lack confidence? Would you like to be more confident? Here a quick video to boost your confidence to enable you to do more.

Don't Drown In Email! How To Use Gmail More Efficiently

Do you find yourself getting overwhelmed by your email. Is you email making  you anxious. Here are some great techniques from Andreas Klinger to streamline your email to makeyourself more productive and efficient.

Don't  Drown in Email! How To Use Gmail More Efficiently

If you struggle with keeping on top of your emails in Gmail you want to maybe try my setup. It’s hard for me to lose track and trust me - i am easy to distract

This is how i use Gmail since 2010:

• · GTD - Getting things done
• · An easy to manage, usually empty inbox on the left 
• · All “todos” in the first box 
• · All emails “awaiting a reply” in the second 
• · All “delegated” emails in the third 
• · All emails related to meetings, flights, etc easy to find in the fourth 
• · All done with 0 plugins, using only standard gmail features 

It’s hard to lose overview using that setup

I couldn’t even imagine using gmail any other way. No seriously. I see those messy priority inbox tab inbox systems and I am just scared. Scared that google will someday force me to use those features.

Btw: This approach is not particularly new. I learned it from a person (forgot name) at LeWeb 2010 and it was mentioned on a blogpost which was called “Gmail Ninja” (couldn’t find the link).

HOW I MANAGE DAILY WORK

· An email comes in
· Handle those you can instantly
· The others mark as todo
· If you want to keep track of them when you replied, you mark them as “Awaiting Reply” or “Delegated” (that way you can always quickly find them and follow up)
· You archive all emails
· You inbox on the left is empty again
· All important ones are in the special boxes ones on the right

E.g.

· Received an email
· Was able to reply instantly (if i wouldn’t have had the time i would marked it as yellow bang (Todo))
· I replied
· Marked with “awaiting reply” (question mark)
· Archived the email
· The email is no longer in my inbox but in my “awaiting reply list” on the right side
· His reply will come into my inbox (and we start over with replying instantly or marking as action)
· Archive - Inbox Zero
That’s it! You are done.

Hope fully that workflow also helps you.




INTERESTED? - IT TAKES ABOUT 15 MINUTES TO SET UP…
… but might change how you work with email forever ;)

In a nutshell it’s

· Multiple inboxes
· Special stars
· The multiple inboxes have searches matching the special stars
· Several filters to avoid repetitive tasks
Step by Step guide
Add multiple inboxes






· Go to Settings (you will find it under the cogs icon on the top right)
· Go to Labs
· Enable Multiple Inboxes
· Choose right side layout
Choose the correct special stars






· Go to Settings > General
· Scroll down to Stars
· Add the stars you will want to use
I use:

· Yellow bang for Todo
· Red bang for Important Todo
· Question mark for emails I expect or await a reply. (so i can followup)
· Orange guillemet (double arrow) for emails i delegated to someone but expect to be done. (so i can follow up)
· Purple star for any arranged meeting, flights, event tickets, call or anything else related to an event where i might need to find that stuff quickly.

Filter the inboxes to match the stars






· Go to Settings > Multiple Inboxes
· Switch to right side layout - the option is in the bottom (!)
· Add the filter rules you want for your inboxes

Here is the list of all names of the stars:

· has:red-star
· has:orange-star
· has:green-star
· has:blue-star
· has:purple-star
· has:red-bang
· has:orange-guillemet
· has:yellow-bang
· has:green-check
· has:blue-info
· has:purple-question

You can btw also do more complex filters by adding OR, AND or basically anything else you can use in search. Eg. I use OR to show both important and VERY important todos.

Note on mobile: If you use the mobile Gmail App a lot i would suggest to use the normal yellow star for todo. That way you can at least mark todos in mobile. Unfortunately the other features won’t work as well because the gmail app doesn’t support them.

Enable the inbox layout (aka kill the tabs ;) )

This part is a bit annoying - basically you need to disable a lot of fancy default features of gmail. If the new multiple inbox layout doesn’t appear in your inbox after you finished the guide you might have missed some step here.






· Go to Settings > Inbox
· Switch to “default”
· Turn off any configuration you might have regarding tabs
· Turn off any configuration regarding priority, important emails or filters








· Go to your inbox
· Click on the cog and click on “Configure Inbox”
· Remove everything
· And while you are at it: Switch layout to “compact”

Now reload

Getting to inbox zero the first time

Let me guess you got a lot of emails in front of you right now or? I had several thousands the first time.

You need to get from several thousands it to Inbox Zero. And this needs to happen now. But it’s actually quite easy.






· Go through the first two or three pages of email.
· Mark everything that is a todo with a todo icon (in my case yellow bang).
· Every thread where you had the last email and await a reply mark with your awaiting reply icon (in my case question mark).
· The same for your delegated and events emails.

When you went through the first two or three pages and you have the feeling nothing (still) important appears anymore do the daring move.

· Click select all (the checkbox on the top left)
· Confirm that you really mean all 6523 emails
· And click on archive

Now your inbox should at zero and your right areas full.

MORE GMAIL WORKFLOW TIPS
If you like the suggestion above you might be also interested in my other gmail workflow tips:

Robot the majority of your emails

I am pretty sure you receive dozens of newsletters, groups etc.

· Unsubscribe what you don’t need
· Filter what you only need if you search for it (i do this eg for follower updates etc)
· Filter everything that can be automatically processed (eg all my invoices get a label, all my commercial invoices get a label and are forwarded to my assisstent who will then use it for bookkeeping)




By now i have over 100 filters and i only see new emails if i really need to see them.

Keyboard navigation






· Enable shortcuts in settings

· Learn them

· Most important y for archive, r for reply, a for reply all, s for star

Auto advance






· Choose auto-advance in Settings so you can cycle through your new emails in the morning really fast

Undo sending






· Enable Undo send in Settings > Labs
· Wonder for the rest of your life why this is not a default feature
Merge your email accounts to one



· Screw multiple logins
· Fetch all your email to your main gmail account
· Be sure to use the “smtp” feature to avoid the emails being send as “on behalf of”




· Choose to always reply from the email you got the message sent to
· Ideal if you have private and professional emails coming now to the same inbox

Install rapportive. But i am pretty sure you already have done so. ;)

Update:

A few people mentioned that they suggest using labels instead of stars. Labels are accessible in the mobile app and also in other apps.

Personally I prefer the stars because they are quicker to access. But if you are looking for a way to have the same workflow also accessible in your mobile - labels might be the solution.

Andreas Klinger: http://klinger.io/post/71640845938/dont-drown-in-email-how-to-use-gmail-more

The skill of self confidence | Dr. Ivan Joseph | TEDxRyersonU

Do you  want to be more confident? Find out how by listening to Dr Ivan Joseph.

What really matters at the end of life | BJ Miller

At the end of our lives, what do we most wish for? For many, it’s simply comfort, respect, love. BJ Miller is a palliative care physician who thinks deeply about how to create a dignified, graceful end of life for his patients. Take the time to savor this moving talk, which asks big questions about how we think on death and honor life.

Secrets of success in 8 words, 3 minutes | Richard St. John

Why do people succeed? Is it because they're smart, or are they just lucky? Analyst Richard St. John condenses years of interviews into an unmissable 3-minute presentation on the real secrets of success.

Tony Robbins: The Magic Of Visualization (Law of Attraction)

Tony talking about the power of visualisation. This is a basic requirement for success. You need to master this as the clearer you can visualise your goals, the more your sub-conscious will work to make it happen.